actressgurlie

wowzaaaa

2009-12-07T21:43:22Z

sooo much STUFF has happened to me since my last post.

i will have to write later when i have time. first off i am at university of the pacific and i am LOVING it!!!! i'm very involved in the shows here... i performed romeo and juliet as the nurse and now i am in the process of doing 2 shows: the theatre fraternity's show and the play, blue window!!! i love all the theatre people here and the teachers... it's such a welcoming atmosphere. :)

i love it that i am busy in rehearsals and performing. it's exactly what i wanted!

i want to get into more details later for i have to go to spanish class... ughhhh... my hardest class ever. anyways, more later!

sooo almost there for xmas break!!!!

colleges & positivity

2009-07-02T07:26:14Z

sooo here is zee list of colleges i am applying/have applied to:

1.) University of the Pacific + already applied
2.) Saint Mary's + already applied
3.) Sonoma State
4.) San Jose State
5.) Long Beach State

i am also looking into conservatories like AADA and AMDA.

i feel accomplished after having applied to 2 private universities already. now, i will have the state schools to worry about in another month.

acting life: i have auditioned to 3 different things and i recently performed the pyt alumni show singing, "maybe this time" from cabaret. the 2 semi-professional musicals i auditioned for... i did not get in but i am so happy to have the opportunity to do it! i will be sure to search for more places to audition. the third thing i auditioned for was a student-run production of the play "hedda gabler." this one i know for sure i will be a part of and i am soooo excited!!! i have no idea what part i have yet... but i am so glad to finally perform a richly plotted play with great characters! it's been awhile since i have done a full length play.

i am so eagerly waiting to know my college acceptances already! can you call impatient much? so far, surprisingly saint mary's is my top choice! i love that the school is very small and that the theater program itself is intimate, well-rounded, and the school provides an array of opportunities to improve in other areas such as dance and singing. also, i will have special attention since the number of theater students is so low.

i am soo excited about what life is offering me now. also, i have high positivity in eric and i. we are doing great with the long distance and i cannot wait to see him when he visits/when i visit! of course i miss him, but also i am so busy doing all my auditions and applying that it makes me not think of him too much, which is a good thing. i gotta keep focused and balance everything! and so far... i think i am doing a stellar job.

I am that one percent

2009-03-25T06:07:41Z

Well, I should be finishing up my history notes but I have a sudden urge to write out my thoughts. If I do not I will just end up thinking and thinking about it while I sleep tonight. So here it goes.

Earlier tonight, my friends Meg and Kadi were talking about how their dream job used to become an "actress." However, I said out loud, "I want to be an actress." [In actuality, I am one. I do not need to become one... I have been one since I was in 5th grade!] Even though one decided to not audition for the BFA program and the other did not make it, they decided to do other career paths. Whereas for me, even though I did not get accepted, I am still pursuing acting. Theatre really is what makes me the happiest and no one is going to change that about me.

This further displays how my love for acting is so strong. Even with no acting classes at the moment and no "big time" show I am in... I am still have a strong passion. I am still acting. I am in a challenging and exciting one act and I am looking around for other theatre companies to audition for. Recently I auditioned for Summer Rep. I am hungry for an audition, an acting class, and to be able to perform on whatever stage.

I know big things will happen for me. It's going to take some time...maybe years. But I am looking forward to it.

All I want to do is keep acting, keep singing, keep performing.... I want to give and show my talent. I have a lot to offer. I am not done. Of course I get frustrated and sometimes feel like things are hopeless... but what does not change is that I am not giving up. Never, ever.

What Kadi and Meg do not have is the intense passion, commitment, and dedication to the craft and performance of acting. I got it.

As what Barb said to me, "You are that one percent."

spring semester schedule & goals

2009-01-16T01:46:33Z

*stage makeup MW 9-11:30 a.m
*dance 101 MWF 12-12:50 p.m
*history 110B TR 8:30-9:45 a.m
*biology 101 TR 10-11:15 a.m
*crew

i'm excited for the rest of my 2nd year in college. 2009 is a year of change for me. it's a year about starting to take "action" to really DO the things i WANT to do. i'll be auditioning for other theatre companies and finally get into the shows i deserve. the world needs an alison koch. well, at least... the theatre world anyway. no matter how big or small.

:]

beautiful sun is out = SUMMER

2008-05-18T01:00:37Z

It just hit me when I woke up today from my home that it is officially summer. I am done being a freshman in college!

Tonight my brother is going to prom! Aww makes me think back a year ago when I went to prom. One of my most memorable nights in high school.

I cannot wait 'till all my high school friends come back home! Basically, this summer is gonna rock.

summer almost here!

2008-05-15T00:26:13Z

2 DAYS LEFT!!!!

I leave on friday night by a train ride. I'll be back home at 4AM!!! Man, I am going to be exhausted and tired.

I'm just so close from not being a freshman in college anymore!!!

Now that I think about it. I am going to have a very busy summer.

*PYT Alumni show
*PYT's All Shook Up
*2 online GE courses (anthropology and geography)
*major play readings/song findings for next semester's main stage shows!!!

Happy

2008-05-03T21:03:11Z

I feel very happy. I am really going to miss being in Fullerton when I come back home for the summer. I am actually very excited for next semester as a sophomore. Just these last couple of months here have made me realize how little time left I have here to spend time with my friends. Hopefully a couple people who have said that they will come visit will do that. :]

Ugh. I have so much work to do this weekend. Time for me to finish up Stagecraft final project, get started on majorally revising the argumentation term paper, and figuring out what I'm going to do for the clowning performance.

I'm going to end this journal entry by this: Last night was amazing. I wish it did not end. I still feel giddy. :]

Stressed out to the max

2008-05-01T06:28:24Z

I am SO stressed!!! I feel like I have a million things to do at once and I really need to organize each day what I have to do. I felt a little bit productive today but I need to do that everyday. All I think of right now is summer. I want freedom and I want to perform and I want to hangout with people without thinking about doing homework. One thing for sure is that I will definitely miss my friends here in Fullerton! I really will! :( I feel like there is no time left for fun now since that finals are coming up and everything.

I need to take one step at a time and believe in myself.

I can do this.

Things just keep getting better and better

2008-04-14T08:25:20Z

The first two months of the 2nd semester were not so great... I was so depressed. That was when I realized that the birth control pills were part of the problem. Then once I stopped taking them, all of a sudden my college life got exceedingly better! I made a very close friend and made more friends - especially in the guy department. I have two guys who like me or at least interested in me. I've been hanging out with Cruz and Ric. They are really decent guys who are pretty similar too. Cruz is the actor, very creative, philosophical, and smart. Ric is the director, he has excellent taste in movies and music, he's a sweetheart, and smart. It's like God brought these two nice gentlemen to my life for a reason. Thank you, God! :] And my feelings towards Alan... of course I will always love him and have those feelings... but my feelings towards him from the past is completely toned down. I do not think about him constantly anymore. I'm moving on. I am looking forward and seeing where I will be with Cruz and Ric. Will they be good friends of mine or will one of them take the extra step? Who knows! I do like both of them. :]

The close friend I am having here in Fullerton is Megan! I love her so much. We instantly clicked and now we hang out all the time! She is also from NorCal, specifically in Stockton which is not so far from me! She and I are almost like the same person. It is ridiculous. Seriously, she and I are soul mates. Other friends i'm close with are Margaret and Nicole. Other guy friends: Tyler, Endy, and James.

Already, i'm bonding with amazing people! Finally I feel like I belong. I actually feel like I do not want to leave for the summer just because of the amazing friends i've been making. There are going to be big changes next semester for me. I WILL find nearby community theatres to audition for just in case the bozo directors from Fullerton do not pick me to be in their main stage shows or the 10 minutes/one acts. I definitely have the talent. Just finally give me a chance to show my full potential here! I think that is the only frustrating thing being a theatre major in Cal State Fullerton. But then again i'm a freshman. But then STILL... come on... I have just as much experience and talent as the people who have the BFA degree.

Anyways, i'm definitely staying here next semester for sure. It is pretty weird how my freshman year in college is almost at its end.

Needing some motivation

2008-02-28T05:28:42Z

As I avoid doing my homework I totally see how unmotivated I am doing my homework.

AND I HATE IT!!!!!

I want to finish my work now. And yet, I tell to myself that i'll do it later. Also, when I do not understand material... I do not ask questions or read the material again to understand it more. Where is the hardworking student in me? All I care right now in my brain is acting, friends, and family. All three are in my mind constantly. I hate doing my GE classes. They bore me and yet I still do my work. I hate being lazy and procrastinating.

Positive things in my life: Starting to crew Midsummer starts TOMORROW NIGHT! Rehearsals for Infant Morality... no idea but I hope soon! I feel like my performing talents have definitely made my semester a big PLUS! I got lots of call backs from the One Acts and 10 Minute plays. I got into a 10 minute play and just recently I heard from one student director that I am in one scene of his. YAY!

I'm getting to know new people and I hope to make those aquaintances as closer potential friends.

I also am valuing the few close friends that I still keep in touch with that touch me. I miss them so much and I want them with me. Fortunately, I will see Alan in 3 weeks! I miss him so much. Talking on the phone with him tonight made me miss him even more. :(

I miss my family too. So so much.

Also, Stephen Sondheim is my husband. ;)

Random thought that's been lingering in my brain

2007-11-30T05:03:35Z

I want a boyfriend. Seriously, it's been way too long since I have been offical with someone. It's either been half way there but not really. There's guys who really like me/attracted to me but they do not want to be in a commitment.

I want that special someone. Who wants me, cares for me, and loves me for who I am.

I want to cuddle with a guy and go out with him. Hold hands, kiss, and laugh with someone.

Well, i'm sorta seeing this guy but I haven't seen him in a couple of weeks. Ehh.

Otherwise, X-MAS break is coming up real FAST!!!!! SOOOO stoked!

decisions, decisions

2007-11-27T04:12:46Z

I feel so much happier now. During my wonderful Thanksgiving break at home, I figured how much acting is more of my core passion rather than being a musical theatre major. Acting is more of my passion. So therefore I am changing my emphasis to acting! Starting tomorrow it will happen. I feel so much happier about this. I won't feel stressed because this is what I REALLY want to do. This doesn't mean i'll never do musical theatre, I totally will. But what it really comes down to it is that I want to be an actor in the profession and perhaps get a gig in television and film.

classes so far for the next semester: (it will be finalized when i talk to my advisor tomorrow!)

*voice/movement B
*math 30B
*theatre 110
*essentials of argumentation
*probably another GE?? another theatre related class??
*crew (not really a class...)

soooo yeah. definitley love the work load so far now.

oh dang. fall semester is ending.....and auditions are THIS WEEKEND!!!!

FINALLY

2007-11-09T06:31:52Z

Tomorrow is the BIG day!!!!! UCSD here I come!!!!!!!!

YESSSS.

I'm finally in a real adventure and i'm so freakin' excited, ecstatic, and relieved!!!

:)

And next week I go back HOME!!!!!!

Life is really good.

quote of the week

2007-10-31T05:55:21Z

"Never fuck up a good relationship....you won't now how much you'll miss it till it's gone."

*sigh*

10 days left 'till San Diego!!!

17 days left 'till I go back HOME!!!

longing and waiting and wishing

2007-10-29T00:25:07Z

I find myself exactly what that title says. I'm longing to see my friends and family. I'm waiting to visit Alan (12 days!!!!) and my family and friends for thanksgiving break. I just want to go back home and see everything familiar again for once. I want to come back to the people who know me and love me. I need to feel like I belong. Right now I don't really. I'm a freshman in college figuring out everything....learning new things...meeting new people...i'm still in this transition mode.

Just once. I want to get out and be with someone who loves and care for me.

Just 12 more days.... :)

And 2 weeks 'till I get home.... :)

Oh, and I just have to say. I can act and sing just as amazingly as these other CSUF actors and musical theatre people. I got talent. They just don't know it.

last midterms week

2007-10-15T14:10:47Z

Okay. After this week, I am going to be one EXTREMELY happy girl! Last midterms week. I have acting, ballet, and voice&movement. Wish me luck!!! I am so going to rock this week and do well! I cannot do badly. And when after all of that is over...my mommy is going to visit me on saturday and i'm going to spend the whole day with her!!! I'm so excited!!!

also...

4 weeks 'till Thanksgiving Break!!!

3 weeks 'till San Diego!!!

ughhhh

2007-10-13T21:57:27Z

Why do I keep thinking about him?

Why do I keep missing him?

Why do I imagine he's with me and talking to me?

Why do I love him so much?

But i'm not not IN love with him.

Am I?

*sigh*

I hate being distracted. Do YOUR WORK NOW ALISON!!! I just cried today. Why in the hell am I crying so much here?

So...

2007-10-08T07:09:37Z

This weekend was definitley amazing.

Friday:

*I found out the bus time scheduales!
*Went out to dinner at downtown Fullerton with Kadi where our very cute waiter told me I looked like Neve Campbell and asked for my phone number
*We got lost taking the bus

Saturday:

*Waiter guy called me
*I hung out with Sarah Benjamin at Irvine and Newport Beach
*I finally bought my San Diego amtrak tickets!

Yuuup. Twas amazing.

4 weeks 'till I go to San Diego
5 weeks 'till Thanksgiving break

I cannot wait. :D

mood swings

2007-09-20T05:42:19Z

Today was definitley a mood swing day. I was so happy and excited for Alan to visit me. When he finally came it was a wonderful feeling. He gave me a cookbook for my birthday gift. I have a strong feeling we will for sure remain the great friends we are for a long time. But however, after math class I felt like I wanted to cry. All of a sudden, with Alan's visit it made me miss my friends and being homesick because of them. I sometimes feel lonely here. There's really not alot of people i'm completely close with except for my suite mates. I think the only person i'm the closest with is Kadi. I wish I could be more close to my theatre classmates. It's just so difficult when there's sooo many of them!! Anyway, after all my classes and had dinner...as I looked at pictures of my friends from facebook, I started to really cry. Tears were streaming down my face as I thought of the good times. I was crying, my back is hurting, on my period, and I have a flippin headache. It pretty much sucks. But now I feel better. See how amusing how my mood swings are? Well, until tomorrow let's see how my moods will take me next time....good night!

birthday countdown

2007-09-10T17:50:11Z

I am going to be nineteen in six days!

Pretty cool, huh?

I still miss my friends back home.

friends

2007-09-08T05:43:11Z

I really miss my friends back home. I love them even more than I have ever felt before. My two best friends, Iris and Elizabeth, have both began their paths towards college. Iris is off to San Jose State and Elizabeth to Rider. Elizabeth seems to not like Rider at all so far. She feels like an outcast. I hope her experience gets better. Just talking to all my friends whether its AIM, Facebook, or on the phone - I miss them so dearly. I do not want to lose this great momentum of contact I am having with them. I really miss Alan and his criticisms, his hugs, and his overall warmth and support towards me and he's going to UCSD soon. He plans to visit me so hopefully that will happen! I really miss Sarah and our deep talks together and all the fun stuff we have done. I love her so much! And then there's David Benjamin, Catherine, Kat, and Chris. I miss them sooo much as well. And there's countless others I miss alot but those stick to my mind the most.

I love each and everyone of them so much. It makes me wonder if i'll have any friends at Fullerton that can top the same, powerful impact I feel from my friends back at home.

If there is one thing I miss about Los Altos...it's the people.

college and spring awakening

2007-09-03T07:34:52Z

It's been three weeks since I have been in Cal State Fullerton. I'm really loving it here. I'm so busy all the time though. But it's so much fun nevertheless. Each day has been new, different, and a learning experience. Each day and week i'm getting the hang of college life. I hope to get closer to more new people. I really like my suite mates and Kadi, a fellow theatre major, is one suite mate of mine that i'm getting closer with. She's really cool and we get into indepth conversations. We have alot in common and other things not in common. We balance out so that's cool!

Oh and Spring Awakening = LOVE!!! Oh my god. I can't stop listening to the music. I WANT TO SEE THE MUSICAL SO MUCH!!!!!!!!

13 days 'till I turn 19!

*sigh* I miss my friends back at home.

apparently...

2007-07-21T06:44:21Z

I am Carol Burnett! Ever since freshman year people think I channel the amazingly hilarious comedianne Carol Burnett. Tonight I did my 2nd show as Reno in Anything Goes and people think my stage presence is like her. This really flatters me and it's interesting how I don't consciously act like her. I geuss i'm natuarally like her. :)

Anywaysss, I kick out of youuuuu. But if baby i'm the bottom...YOUR'E the TOP!!!

Tehe.

Man....how I love Anything Goes. How I love Cole Porter's music and lyrics. How I want to live in the 1930's and be Reno. Flirting with men like there's no tomorrow. ;) Once i'm a certain character...I am that certain character for awhile. I'm Reno right now.

<333

summer thus far

2007-06-30T21:08:23Z

Today is the last day of June. Holy crap. June has been one memorable month for sure. So much has happened. I have been so busy too. So overwhelming but wonderful. These days i've been rehearsing constantly. Every night I get so tired but I still love it. I never get sick of rehearsing and tonight is my PYT Alumni show which i'm sooo excited for!!! :) Hopefully a ton of people are coming to watch the show. I feel so honored to perform with so many talented people. Seriously...everyone is a fantastic singer, actor, and dancer! I learn so much from everyone. Well, i'm off to go out for lunch. A sandwich sounds soo good right now. I'm sooo hungry! And I need energy before the show. It's going to be a busy night!!! Break legs to everyone!!! I know it's going to be a fantastical show!!!!

And then after PYT Alumni show....it's ANYTHING GOES!!!!! YAY!!!!

sadness and love

2007-06-16T03:23:36Z

Yesterday, a classmate of mine that I have known since jr. high passed away. His name was Derek Abraham. It was a freak accident and he slammed into the cliffs on a beach in Santa Cruz. We just graduated days ago. We just had prom. We just started our summer vacations....we haven't even started college yet. He did not get to enjoy his summer vacation. He is gone. When I first heard that he didn't make it, I thought it was a joke. It couldn't happen. No way. Then there was shock, tears, numbness, and then nothing. I got to cry with Sarah and Christiana. At first I didn't want to go to the grad party I was invited to...but then I thought to myself, "I should be with my friends. Be with the people I love and care about because you never know what would happen with the people you meet or have been friends with...the next day they may be gone and you wish that you spent some time with them before they leave forever from you." Just like Derek. Although I wasn't close with him, I wished I talked with him more. He seemed like such a cool guy. I wish I was a good friend of his. Now I have is random bits of memories of him. After the grad party, Alan drove me home and he consoled me as I started crying again. He has always been there for me. We both said some heartfelt things to eachother...but we kinda knew already how we felt eachother...but it was like for the first time we really dug deep into eachother's feelings and really said out loud how much we have been such an impact in eachother's lives. Yesterday I was embracing with people I love so much...and I want that to happen every single day.

Derek, may you rest in peace and have a heck of a time in heaven. Send your creative spirit soaring. The class of 2007 loves and misses you dearly. Your friends and family love you so much. I miss you. Thank you for helping me realize how life is so precious...because it has finally hit me.